Is it just me, or are there a lot of people lacking manners out there? I can’t tell you how many times I’ve had to dodge and almost trip to avoid “walking into” people. If that didn’t make sense to you, you’re not alone. I’m convinced these people also exist in hell. Let’s look at some of them:
The Anchor
Just yesterday I drove to the local supermarket to buy groceries. As I near the entrance, I notice that it’s partially blocked by an elderly woman. Not only that, she seems to be talking to a store employee who is also blocking the entrance. Like, full blown oblivious-to-the-whole-world conversation.
I pause to see if they’ll notice me. Nope. The lady even looks past me into the parking lot and doesn’t budge an inch.
You’re kidding me right? That would have at least been an acknowledgement that she was in the way. What I get instead? Yet another opportunity to practice my tip-toeing skills. Tip-toeing around large, stationary masses.
You can also find the anchor at the malls. I swear that people have a secret goal of seeing how many people will avoid walking into them.
The Tracker
I don’t think I will ever miss the tracker. Not even when I’m old and wrinkly. I went to pick up our pizza last night and had to wait in line as they were busy. No biggie, I have my iPhone to be antisocial entertain me.
I feel eyes on me. Sure enough, there’s a man staring at me. I look away. The manager comes and asks me if someone has taken my order. I’m tripping over my words because I can still feel this guy’s eyes on me. I look back at him hoping he’s not staring.
Shit. Still staring at me. Since there’s still someone standing in front of me in line, I take one step to the left so their head blocks the tracker’s view, only to curse under my breath as my only shield walks away. Thankfully, the manager notices my reaction, snaps his fingers twice at the employee, and the tracker is no more. I could have hugged him.
The Yakker
If you’ve never fallen victim to this person, count your blessings. The yakker is the the person that traps you into a conversation you don’t care on having. Actually, that’s putting it nicely. It’s not even a conversation; it’s more of a monologue because you can’t get a word in.
This person will follow you everywhere. You walk around trying to find an exit, and the yakker sees it as you inviting them for a walk. If you try to leave their house, they will follow you to your car and continue their chatter at your car window. You have the same expression on your face as with the tracker but on the inside you look like this:
The only thing worse than a yakker is a yakker with halitosis. Yum.
The Entertainer
This person yells into their cell phone and makes sure errrrrbody knows their business. He said followed by and then I said can usually give them away. They usually also have very brightly-colored clothing on (or lack, thereof). If their outfit doesn’t give them away, you can always spot the entertainer by their swag or their blinged-out ears, fingers, wrists and ankles. They are always the center of attention and you best not forget it.
Think they’re embarrassed? Nope. The weird looks they get actually feel rewarding to them. Don’t piss off the entertainer, though, because they’ll come after you like a pitbull. #youknowyouwantsomeofthis.
The Creeper
This one is self-explanatory. The creeper is the kind of person that, instead of talking to you, they will hide around the corner as you’re getting a drink at the water cooler. You see something out of the corner of your eye. Nope it’s not a bird. Not even a plane. And most definitely not Superman. It’s the creeper playing a sick and creepy game of peek-a-boo and it’s their idea of flirting.
I wish I could tell you I am making up all of these scenarios, but I’m not.
And because the creeper made me get the hell out of Dodge, I signing off.
Over and out.
Maggie says
I honestly encountered all of these people yesterday at the airport! Awful!
But very hilarious.
Adriana says
Haha lovee this. It’s so true tho! And none of them realize (or care) that they are ruining people’s days
Brittany Goodnight says
HA! I see these on the daily at work..so true!
Brittany
breakfastatbrittanyss.blogspot.com
Carly @ The Pinot Project says
I seriously love this. People drive me crazy on a daily basis. I just saw a commercial for the Today Show about a segment talking about the “return of etiquette.” Um, why did it ever go away?!?!?
My person favorite is the person who stops dead in their tracks in a busy place like the airport, sidewalk, mall, etc. and you practically slam into them and then they give you a dirty look.
The Pinot Project
SMD @ lifeaccordingtosteph says
I hate The Entertainer, especially on the train. NO ONE wants to hear your idiot blathering on after working all day.
Patricia Baret says
Haha! These people drive me crazy and they exist in every culture. We have plenty of them here in France!
Patricia
The DIY Frenchie
Rachel's Country Roots says
OMG I believe this is all of the students on Campus here!
Madison I says
Oh my God, I just laughed and laughed. You’re not alone! :) My favorite is the tracker (*shudders*) and the yakker… My boss is a yakker. Kill me now. :/
xoxo
Bailey @ Becoming Bailey says
This is too perfect. My ex-best friend is the yakker and the entertainer combined. Ugh. I cringe every time I see her.
Nessa says
The Anchor is one of my biggest reasons for avoiding Wal-Mart when I’m in a bad mood. I’m glad I currently have no yakkers in my life.
Areeba says
Haha the Anchor person surely would be the first person in hell. Count Yakker in second!
Stephanie says
I encounter most of these people weekly. Ugh, it’s frustrating.
Dara says
I hate when people just stop walking suddenly in the middle of the sidewalk or store aisle.
also I have an acquaintance who will loudly moan and bitch into her cell phone hoping people will ask her about it when she gets off. ugh!
kaitelug says
Ugh I feel you so much on the anchor and the entertainer! Living in NYC I encounter these people literally EVERY day. Some days I just ignore it because I’m basically used to it but those days when things just aren’t going my way…NOT having it!
abigail mack says
Hahhah I love this! I literally just wrote a post called “Did your momma teach you nothin?” about how much people’s lack of manners drives me loco!
Chloe West says
I have totally been a victim of the yakker. Miserable. A woman stopped my friend and me at Wal-mart at like midnight for THIRTY MINUTES to tell us about how much we need Jesus in our life.
Tonya Tolliver-Patterson says
Oops sorry put my link in wrong hop. Delete please!
Night Owler says
I do have to ask hun where did you get the pics that move. I’m guessing tumblr. Am i right or wrong? Or is the link included if I right click on it.
Julie-Becoming A Navy Wife says
Hysterical.
Yelle says
I love these! I work in a museum, so I have the public in “my” building every day. These definitely exist there, and more too! My biggest pet peeve this week is the moms who don’t control their kids that are waiting to get on the elevator. The polite thing is to let the people who are on the elevator out first, but moms let their children stand on top of the doors, run into the elevator, before the other guests can even realize what floor they are on! I would call this one The Oblivious, what do you think?
Gwen says
We have a few Yakkers at work and I feel bad because sometimes I go out of my way to NOT talk to them because I don’t want to be stuck for a half hour or more!
Kerry Enos says
This was too funny!! I have meet at least one person in every category. Hopefully I am never one of them! :)
Heidi says
These are soooo true! Nothing gets me more than someone stopping dead in there tracks in the middle of a store aisle or obvious walkway. My BF’s is people in the checkout who are practically running you over with their card to get their purchases on the conveyor.
Diane Kimball says
BAHAHA! OMG I know wayyyyyyyy too many people that I can classify as a “Yakker” honestly, if my glazed over eyes aren’t a sign then maybe my complete and utter lack of interest in what your saying might be! What about the Sudden Stop? They are walking normally and all of a sudden stop dead in their tracks right in front of you, to where you almost walk right into them!
Michael says
So. Damn. True!