I hear it all the time. “Do you have some sort of a word limit you need to hit every day?” That dear husband of mine. Forever the smart ass. I’m a SAHW, and while he’s at work every day, I am home working on my design business (which is starting to take off!), blogging, and taking care of household duties. Needless to say, it can sometimes get a little lonely. By the time he gets home, he’s hit his word limit 10 times over.
What’s a girl to do? Talk in my sleep.
I don’t do it intentionally, obviously. I didn’t even know I did it until my sister once pointed it out to me. Ever since then, it’s been a running joke in my family. What do I talk about? Let’s see.
Fight with my mother. Yep. This is a big one. It’s usually “Alright, alright, alright. I heard you. Yeah. Mom. Moooooom. Okay. OKAY! I heard you. Ok. Bye. Yes. Bye. BYE!” Usually it sounds like that in my sleep, too.
Talk in Spanish. So my first language is Spanish. Admittedly, English has taken over and my Spanish isn’t as great as it used to be. (Something about how your facial muscles are not moving how they were used to blah blah blag.) However, I still talk a LOT in Spanish. About what? I have no clue. I can’t remember my dreams.
Sing. I have actually woken myself up singing before. I must have been in a big production, La Traviata or Die Zauberflöte, I can’t remember, but I do remember one thing. I always fail hitting my high B’s. I wake up extremely confused because the high notes are as sure as the sun rises in the east. By the time I realize I was trying to sing, the sun actually has risen.
Oh, don’t think my husband (aka Smartass) is escaping this so easily. He just sent me an e-mail asking me what all those little words (labels) were at the bottom of my blog, and why shart was one of them. (He knows…he just wants to be a pain).
My husband beats me in his sleep. Ok, that isn’t exactly true. We waited until after we were married to live together, so B wasn’t used to having someone in bed with him. When were were newlyweds (at what point do you stop being newlyweds?) I woke up one night in shock and fear and confusion to him standing over me looking furious. My husband, in his slumber’s stupor, beat me repeatedly with a pillow. Really hard!
I don’t know who was more scared…me waking up to a pillow in the face…or him waking up in a standing position beating his unconscious wife. All I could do was ask “What?! What did I dooooo?!?!!??!” He apologized after he pulled himself together, but I will never let him live this down.
So…do you have a word limit?