It’s been 13 days since my arthroscopic surgery. It’s flown by partly because of pain meds, partly because of physical therapy, and partly because of blogging and design. Mostly, it’s because of the the Chamber of Torture.
What is this chamber of torture? It’s where sadistic people rule. They tell you what to do and how to do it, and they inflict pain on you when your body gets used to the abuse. Also…you’re the masochist who keeps coming back.
If you thought I was referring to a room where Christian Grey is the dominatrix, you are mistaken. I’m referring to…physical therapy. Twice a week since the day after my surgery I’ve been going to physical therapy, and paying them to inflict pain on me.
First, I’m laid on my back with a cylinder under my knees and forced to raise my left leg. 20 times. Twice. At first it was painful. Then I worked through it and it got better. When the dominatrix realized it no longer hurt, an ankle weight was added. Curses.
Then when you get a chance to breathe, you’re moved to Exhibit A: “The Rack.” This is an alternate of the table routines in the physical therapy clinic Chamber of Torture. Here you are asked to use your injured limb and push your body weight so your seat slides. When the dominatrix realizes this is no longer painful, they add resistance. Curses.
Then, you think you’ll get a respite. The primary-school colors trick you into thinking you’ll do a kid-friendly activity. Nope. You’re asked to kick back. 20 times. Twice. Curses.
After that, I’m asked to stand in front of the stationary bike, facing those fun colors again. I am starting to associate colors with torture at this point. I’m instructed to stand on one leg in front of this. On my leg with the bad knee. If that weren’t enough, I then have to stand on my tippy toes with all my weight on that bad knee. 20 times. Twice. &*#[email protected]&$%@#$!
After an hour of these exhausting exercises, the dominatrix puts an ice pack on my knee. In a mixture of pain and relief, I like this last tool of torture.
As I get ready to leave the Chamber of Torture, the dominatrix gives me a sinister smile. And through her teeth, she says “See you on Thursday.” And I kick myself because I know that, yes, I WILL be back. And I will pay money to come back.
Ain’t that the pits?
Link up with Random Wednesday
Sara Elizabeth says
I’ve had to do physical therapy on my knee from MCL/ACL sprains and shoulder injuries and maybe I’m weird but I loved PT. There’s something very empowering about getting through those what would normally be considered easy exercises, despite the pain of an injury. I also really wanted to get back on the soccer field each time so maybe that’s why I enjoyed it because it was just one stepping stone to getting back there.
Lisette says
This post was written with a hint of sarcasm. I really like PT. But yesterday was painful! And I’m still sore today.
Morgan Rae says
All of this brings back horrible memories – I’ve been there and done that. Trust me though, it does get easier and less painful! It will also help you heal a lot faster. You can do it! :)
Rachel says
That is torture!! I worked as an account manager for a PT place for a while and the only good thing was the free massages!
Lisette says
Hold the presses. Free massages?! What?!? Why am I just hearing about this now?!?!?!??!??!??!
Madi says
That sounds awful. I’m glad you’re going, and I’m sure you’ll be glad when you don’t have a bum knee anymore, but the mean time, as you said it so well… Is the pitts.
Chelsea says
Haha I feel so bad for you, but I laughed all throughout this post–I love your humor! Keep getting better, friend!
Lisette says
Thanks Chelsea. It’s definitely an experience!
Rachel Murphree says
Aww, I hope your knee heals quickly! Is it wrong that I am eyeing those thinking, man, I wish we had those in our home gym! ;)
Erin-Paint Those Piggies! says
I totally feel that pain! I had arthroscopic surgery on both my shoulders and spent an entire three months in physical therapy, when I was 15. At least it seems like they don’t put the little shocking machine on you, so that’s a plus right? Hang in there, it’s worth it :) Also don’t be like my 15 year old former self and not do the exercises they tell you to do at home. My right shoulder can attest that that was a dumb idea for me to skip out ;)
Meg O. says
WOW! I’ve never done any sort of PT before, and this looks really interesting! And of course painful.
Lisette says
This is my first time. It’s painful but it’s therapeutic at the same time. (See what I did there? Eh? ;))
Kelli says
I can see the rehab exercises have not changed in the 10 or so years since I had this same surgery. I even got one of those big rubber band things to take home so I could keep up my rehab on off days.
Because Shanna Said So says
At first I was getting all hot and bothered thinking you were gonna talk about my man Christian!! Kidding! Get better and do what they say!!! Hang in there. You are a tough cookie!
Lisette says
;) That’s where I was thinking of going with this ;)
Kerry says
Oh the love/hate relationship that is physical therapy! After my accident it took 6 months to raise my hands above my head and they put this weird heating gel on me and it was so weird but felt so good after. The movement and the motions hurt like hell but at least you know you are working towards getting better. Stay strong girl!
CeCe @Pink Sunshine says
It seems like it’s too soon! Ouch. That has to hurt. I always hear that they will have you up walking around the day after a major surgery and it always seems crazy. I guess they know what they are doing but it does sound quite dreadful to have to exercise something that has just been operated on. Hang in there.
Lisette says
I had PT the day after surgery! I guess they don’t want everything healing without mobility?
Rachel says
I’ve never had to experience physical therapy before, but “the rack” looks very intimidating. I’m glad you went through with the surgery, though. You’ll being feeling awesome soon! :)
Lisette says
Thanks! I hope so! Chip and Daisy definitely need someone to walk them. They’re getting cabin fever.
Beth says
Glad your knee is getting better. I wrecked my knee playing kick ball three years ago & opted for the full surgery verses arthroscopic since the lovely doctor told me I had a 50/50 shot. YAY! Knee pain isn’t fun but you’ll get back into the swing of things. Strength training has really helped with mine. :)
Lisette says
That’s GREAT to hear! You just reminded me to do my PT exercises :)
joannerambling says
I do most of my exercising at night in bed just before I go to sleep……………..thinking about exercising is the same as doing it right………………….no…………..oh well maybe that is why I am fat…………………..lol
Lisette says
Haha! You’re too funny!
Ange says
OMG the tippy toe thing is the worst!!!!!
Lisette says
You know what I’m talking about!!