I wasn’t planning on blogging today. I honestly haven’t been “feeling it.” Blogging has become a chore. Trying to crank out spectacular blog posts so that you get more page views. So that your sponsors get more clicks. Reading blogs. Commenting. Then for me, designing and other odds and ends on other blogs. It eats away at your time. It’s an unforgiving chore.
But sometimes the best thing about blogging is the writing. Writing to get your thoughts on…well, not paper, but you know what I mean. Writing as a cathartic release of everything you’ve been holding inside.
There’s something comforting about extracting your thoughts. I guess the goal is to keep them out once they’re out.
Do you ever have inexplicable bursts of sadness? Last night that’s all I felt. Overwhelming sadness. And an ugly cry that would rival Kim Kardashian’s ugly cry.
Sometimes I feel like a failure.
Sometimes I feel like I can’t please everyone, and as a people-pleaser it just kills me.
Sometimes I feel immature despite having been “mature for my age” all throughout childhood.
Sometimes I feel like hitting a reset button on life. Multiple times a day.
Why don’t we have all the answers?
When bad things happen that are out of our control, why is it so hard to fix them?
Why is it so hard for people to just be happy with what they have?
Why get stuck on the stupid shit?
Why is it so hard for people to forgive?
I guess I didn’t mean for this post to be so existential, but sometimes these are the thoughts that run through my head. I’m not the type of person to say these questions aloud out of fear that someone will read between the lines and ask me, “What’s wrong, Lisette?” It’s hard for me to talk about my feelings. But writing about them? Easy.
I guess I have to get back to the basics of what makes Lisette happy.