Am I the only woman in the world that hates clothes shopping? Wait, whaaaaaat?
This post is probably one of the riskiest that I, as an individual, am writing. Well, if by risky we’re referring to “open” and “honest,” then, okay. I’m not writing as Lisette the Singer, nor am I writing as Lisette the Wife. I guess I’m writing as Lisette the Individual.
five-day weekend in Florida, I went shopping with my mother in law. We hit the usual stores she likes, and I ducked into the store I like for its petite section: LOFT. Normally I’ll try on clothes. This time I took one look at myself and just wanted to walk out and not look back.
Let me clarify this a bit so you understand where I’m coming from. I am not an obese woman. Overweight for sure, but not obese. Yet, I can’t bring myself to enjoy clothes shopping.
Is it low self-esteem? Not in the very least. It’s more of a cross between not wanting to spend money on clothes and not thinking my body is worthy of new clothes. It’s like…I haven’t lost the weight I’ve been wanting to lose, so I’m not going to reward myself with nice clothes…even though I’m sure my husband thinks all I own are yoga pants and oversized tees.
Does it make sense? Absolutely not. I can’t wrap my head around it. My mother-in-law and I will go shopping and, even if she’s offering to buy me clothes, most times I can’t bring myself to try them on. One glance at myself in the mirror and I’m just utterly disgusted at what I see. It’s almost to the loathing level. And I’m not even talking about the dressing room mirrors. I’m talking about the ones on the floor.
But then I see bloggers like Mama Laughlin who look like life-size Barbies and I see a little glimmer of hope. I see others like Shanna and Lauren, who always look fabulous, and I want to dress a little like them. But not quite yet.
My excuse? Oh, when I lose weight I’ll buy clothes. I’ve been telling myself this for almost three years now. Three! I’m literally wasting away my “youth” in old clothes. Sure, I’ve bought a new dress or dress shirt here and there. But “going shopping” for me is a memory I have of my college years where life was a little more carefree, and coincidentally enough, I was not only busier, but I was also more fit. Back then I dressed for performing on stage. I was used to all eyes being on me.
All I know is, I’m tired of looking in the mirror and being unhappy with what I see. Hair, weight, clothes. I’m tired of looking “blah.” I’m tired of feeling “blah.” Sometimes when I think “This is the best you’ll look because you don’t have kids yet” I REALLY start despairing. Can you say masochist?
I’m thinking maybe I need to get a haircut and some highlights to recharge how I see myself.
melissa • the little moon says
I absolutely and wholeheartedly LOVE this post. I’ve been doing this a lot lately – “oh, that’s cute, I’ll buy it when my usual jeans fit right again” or some weird form of goal setting where it’s if I complete all my July workouts without skipping, then I’ll go try on something new.
Oh and I took a “before” photo last week. Terrifying.
I know exactly how you feel! Good luck with your workouts!
Emily @ Sassy in Sequins says
You’re not the only one, I’m struggling to lose the 10 pounds I’ve gained after surgery. While it doesn’t sound like a lot, it is on my 5’4″ frame. Even worse is that I bought some new clothes and then had another hiccup and now those don’t fit. Ugh, I feel your pain but a mani pedi or new haircut always helps me feel a bit better!
I have a 5’1″ frame and I’ve gained over 15lbs…I feel your pain!
What kind of surgery did you have?
Emily @ Sassy in Sequins says
ACL surgery in February. Was on the mend and losing weight when I got into a car accident and got a concussion and messed up my back and wasn’t allowed to work out for a month…but kept drinking and eating. oops!
Oh no!!! I’m so sorry to hear that! I messed up my knee in a car accident and, even though I bought a knee brace, it still hurts even to walk sometimes. I’m going to be talking to a lawyer soon to see if I can get bodily injury money to see a specialist.
Coco in Magnolia says
I’m with ya girl. I loathe going to the mall. I am a ‘closet’ shopper. Meaning, I either buy in the comfort of my chair online or I buy then bring home to try on. But you are precious! Sometimes we do need a recharge. My recharge is new shoes and a new workout outfit, bought online of course. And a walk, a good 4 mile walk in nature. Gratitude seeps in when I walk.
Cortne @ Coco in Magnolia
Jennifer Duncan says
I feel the same ways some days! Thats probably why I like to shop online.. I don’t ever have to try things on and usually end up not buying anything but have fun looking!
Haha! I think you’re on to something! I think this is what Polyvore is all about?
Lisa @ Ameliorer la Vie says
I gained SO much weight since I moved back to America. SO MUCH. At first I thought it was only temporary and that I could lose it, but here it is years later and the weight has not disappeared! I really think I have a thyroid issue and have made a dr’s appointment, but anyway, I *had* to buy a few new things since otherwise I would not have had a thing that would have fit me from my old wardrobe. Like you, I feel like I don’t enjoy shopping as much anymore and also don’t buy clothes like I used to. Clothes just don’t fit my body as nicely and don’t look as flattering–your post really struck a chord with me.
I hope you figure out what’s wrong at your doctor’s appointment! This is so frustrating, especially if you try eating healthier and try being more active. Good luck!
Lisa @ Ameliorer la Vie says
Thanks! My mom and sister both have hypothyroidism, and it is hereditary, so I’m getting tested for that!
Rachel Silski says
I know how you feel!!! Do not let this get you down. We all have these days and my are the worst when buying jeans. It makes me want to sit in the middle of the store and cry. I hate doing it!!!
O. M. G. Ohhhhh the jean shopping! Hor-ri-bull!!! Yes, jean shopping makes me wanna throw a tantrum in the store. Complete with screaming, crying, kicking and sliding clothes off their tables.
Sigh. That mental picture actually just made me feel better. HAHA!
Brendali Caban says
This post made me want to cry, honest to God. I struggle with self image every single day. When Im overweight, when Im at my thinnest, when I am in between. I wish I could tell you I found the magic key. I havent. Some days I feel beautiful and confident, other days I feel just like you. I dont even want to look in a mirror and when I do I sit there and pull at this loose skin or that roll or this.
For my wedding, I was a stick, then I had Ethan and gained alot, ALOT of weight. I just finally lost most of it and am down to the last 10-15 lbs and it is frustrating to see so many skinny women wearing whatever the hell they want (no offense skinny ladies, I love ya).
Its hard. I am still trying to find the happy medium. Sometimes a pair of heels and doing my hair does wonder. Other days, exercising until Im sweating buckets helps, other days, a snuggle with Ethan does it. You will have up and down days.
My advice, is see your body for what it is. A beautiful piece of machinery. It carries you around everyday and you are truly a beautiful woman girl. Trust me, I seen ugly chicks. YOu are not one, face wise and physically. I would kill for your butt <3
Aww Brenda. Please don’t make me cry!
Please ::scoops up butt fat:: you can HAVE IT ALL!!!!!
Brendali Caban says
Bekah @ re•solve says
Totally relate. I still feel like I can get to high school skinny and don’t get why my 1-2 gym visits a week haven’t instantly removed all the weight I put on since then. Even when I was at my smallest, I was tall and busty. Clothes have always been a nightmare, but now I’m wishing I’d appreciated my skinnier self more.
I want to slap my former skinny self for feelin fat! She should have had a cookie
Rachel Murphree says
I can totally relate. I know that for me it does often have to do with my weight, but less about the actual weight than how I feel at that weight. If I’m not comfortable with how I look and feel, no clothes are going to make me feel any better. So I think that it is all a mindset type of thing. Maybe a makeover like you said would change the way you feel about yourself, which will help you not feel “blah.”
Ok. The husband is paying for pampering this weekend. It’s decided. LOL!
Elizabeth Kathryn says
Oh my goodness I’m not alone! This post perfectly sums up everything I have ever felt about shopping. Thank you for sharing! And thank you for helping me realize I’m not the only one! Just discovered your blog, consider it bookmarked :)
Nope! You are not alone! And, you’d think stores would catch on to the blinding lighting and their mirrors hurting their pockets! Stop making me look so baddd! Wahhh! Thanks for stopping by!
This has so been me lately.. nothing fits me anymore and I loathe going to try on stuff because I’m not my original size anymore and it makes me feel bad. I just feel like nothing looks cute anymore! I’m ready for winter clothes haha
Girlfran, I’ll go sweater shopping with you. Just gimme a ring!
Patricia B says
Yes! I know exactly what you mean. I such a hard time buying clothes. I feel like they always look better on everyone else. It’s really discouraging…
Autumn Hubbard says
I actually just read an article from Women’s Fitness about this the other day! The author actually said that keeping your old clothes around (or your “fat clothes”) can stall your weight loss struggles. If you keep looking at yourself in clothes that are frumpy, you’re not motivated. These clothes also mask the progress you ARE making. It’s a vicious cycle.
I used to always be jealous of volleyball players and how great they look in those tight shorts (I sound like a major creeper). I always thought I would never be able to look like that. Last week, I bought a pair and it’s boosted my confidence 200%. If you don’t want to buy a whole new wardrobe, just buy what I call one “skinny outfit.” Something you feel GREAT in. Wear it every day and it helps you stay motivated.
(Sorry I just wrote a whole novel on your comment section)
No no no! I love long comments!!
I completely agree! All I have been wearing are yoga pants (same thing I wore when I went to LOFT) and it not only hides your progress…but it ALSO hides weight gain!
You are so right, my friend! Thanks for the reminder!
I for sure know the feeling :/ I try to distract myself with something else like a phone call with a friend… good luck <3
Rachel G says
I think my Mom feels exactly this way about shopping. She doesn’t like the way she looks, and she hates buying clothes because she never thinks she looks good in them. And I think that’s so sad. My Mom’s 42 and she’s had 7 children, so no, she’s not skinny–and she’s beautiful. She’ll pretty much only shop if I take her, or else she’ll ask me to just buy clothes for her.
Really, I think a good way to feel happier about what you’re wearing and the way you look is to buy some well-fitting, clothes that flatter your figure..You don’t have to buy a lot, but having a few really pretty pieces could really help your confidence!
Stevie C says
I’m typing this to you after I drank too much wine and then ate ribs for dinner. The night before WW weigh in. Whoops.
We are so hard on ourselves as girls, aren’t we? It’s so easy to say “you look fine!” or “you’re a beautiful person so thats what counts” but it doesn’t help us when we go shopping.
I think, personally, that you are gorgeous. You have served as a role model, a friend, and an inspiration. That’s the stuff I think about when I think of you… think of yourself that way too! Now, go recharge, and next time… do NOT pass up a shopping spree!
This comment truly touched my heart! I almost cried! It’s HARD for me to read such compliments. I had to X out of this and come back to it later in order to comment.
Thank you for your kind words. It means more than you think! XOXO
Tracie S says
I want to say thank you for being so open! It’s so hard to put into words what you’re feeling when you just don’t like what’s going on and the only thing that can change what’s happening is you! I usually do the opposite and overbuy in order to make myself feel better about the weight I haven’t lost or the pudge that’s still sticking around.
Lisa C says
You’re doing better than me. I keep buying clothes in the size that I want to get back to. So closet full of clothes that don’t fit = yoga pants every day. It’s a vicious cycle.
I found this blog through Wildcard Wednesday. I too struggle to feel good about myself. I tend to either cut bangs or grow them out when I feel blah.
Kelly @ theadventuresofthekeitzerfamily
Madi | And So I Did says
I can honestly say that ‘dressing the part’ helps fix it. When I want to feel cute/skinnier/notice-worthy and I dress up I feel 100% better. I don’t like how 90% of clothes look on me, and I also look at bloggers and wonder why I don’t/can’t/won’t look as cute if I wear something similar. Set a small goal for yourself and then buy a new pair of jeans, so that it’s fun BUT you don’t feel like you’re ‘wasting’ money on clothes that you hope won’t fit soon. <3
I feel the same way!!! I gained a LOT of weight the first few years of marriage and with my first pregnancy. I’ve lost a bit, but I’m still heavier than I was. My sister is the same size I am, and she always looks great. But me, I always feel frumpy and yucky. But I never buy new clothes for the same reason. Like I don’t deserve new clothes unless I’m skinny again or something. It’s a stupid way of thinking and I really need to change it.
I’m not really a fan of shopping either. I have to try on EVERYTHING. Even if it’s a store i shop at regularly. The style, the fabric, it all fits differently. Socks and underwear are about the only things that fit no matter what style/brand.
Sophie McIntyre says
This has been me for the past few months… I’ve so far managed to drop a size in clothes but not enough for me to go “It’s shopping time! WHEEEE!”. It makes for sad walks around Westfield Mall.