1. I’ve done “mom” things for my dogs.
You don’t know what love is until you do gross stuff without even thinking twice about them.
Case in point, dogs have glands that humans don’t which smell like a cross between dead fish and a port-a-potty. You have to empty them from time to time (by squeezing them) unless you want to have your dog ‘express’ them on your living room rug by dragging their butt all over it. #truestory Of course you could have the dog groomer do this, but these hairy guys need grooming often, and I rather put that money towards other things, so I’ve learned to groom them myself.
Also, talk of poop is normal. Not only that, but B and I also talk about the consistency and the frequency of their poop. Ok, I’m lying. We don’t have conversations about poop. Rather, I’m quite uninhibited about telling B about Chip and Daisy’s poop. And they say romance is dead.
2. I willingly spend money on them and enjoy it.
$22 for a bag of treats. $12 on shampoo. $50 for a bag of food (seriously, I swear by Orijen!). Recently, I signed them both up for pet wellness plans at Banfield, so now the dogs have health insurance.
But let’s not leave B out of this. He once bought a remote-controlled ball “for the dogs.”
Now, I only buy the cheapest toys available because they’ll be obliterated in seconds.
3. I put myself second without holding grudges.
Brushing my teeth is optional when walking the dogs. And, most often than not, juuuuuuust when I’m getting ready to relax, Chip prances in and stares. Then huffs. Then takes a step back.
That’s Chip talk for “I want to go outside and sniff things and make you think I need to pee but I really just want your attention.”
4. Their intent to embarrass you.
They have no shame.
Eat a string or mom’s hair? I’ll just hold my poop position until you pull it out of my butt.
Pee on a stranger’s leg? Been there. Pee on your boss’ pant leg? Definitely been there. Chip can’t have friends because he humps all of them. Non. Stop.
5. Unconditional love
My dogs’ unconditional love for me continually astounds me. And so is my unconditional love for them. Even when I’m mad at one of them for peeing on their new dog bed (for the second time in a week) and I scold them, they always come back asking forgiveness with their puppy dog eyes. They hold no grudges and come into my arms without a second of hesitation.