Opening a soda can when you have paper thin nails.
Sitting on the john for 20 minutes and realizing you’re out of TP.
Getting all settled to watch a movie and remembering you left your snacks in the kitchen.
Ripping open a bag of snacks at the tear line…only to realize you ripped it ABOVE the glue sealing. Now you have to use scissors. The worst? If you were sitting on the couch after the third trip to the kitchen (see above).
When your bladder is bursting and it’s so cold that you decide you’re better off staying in bed. Then laying awake for 30 minutes wondering if it’s really THAT cold, but afraid of losing your body heat on the sheets. Or having a dog take your place while you’re in the bathroom. (I know you know what I mean).
Deciding to go anyway and, after freezing your buns off on the toilet seat, you slide back under the covers so fast that the Yankees would sign you on the spot. At this point your dogs are bright eyed and bushy tailed and ready for their turn. The worst? Realizing it’s only 4am.
Checking out at the drugstore with a box of tampons and deodorant during some of the most painful cramps you’ve ever experienced, only to realize that you left your debit card at home. Bonus points if the clerk is an awkward teenage boy afraid of the tampon box. That or deathly afraid of the painful moans coming from you. Not that I’m speaking from experience or anything.
When your dog decides to drop a long and slow shedoobie on the nicest lawn in your neighborhood. The worst? If the homeowner pulls up the driveway and you realize you didn’t bring a bag.
Please tell me I’m not alone. Please?