Oh, hey there. Remember me? The blogger who used to blog great material (at least I thought so). She’s been AWOL for a while. My apologies. My heart just hasn’t been into “real” blogging lately.
That doesn’t mean I regret making the decision to blog. I’ve made great friends through blogging. I’m honestly surprised at the amount of texting and tweeting I do with other bloggers. My husband thinks I’m certifiably insane. To that I say, “Hey, you married me…so what does that say about you?”
Got him there.
“Every man has within himself the entire human condition.” Michel de Montaigne.
Gosh. Ain’t that the truth? Sometimes I feel like I go through the spectrum of the “human condition” in an entire day. Lately I’ve been…off. I’ll snap at my husband for no reason. I yelled at the dogs yesterday–twice–because they were too rambunctious while playing. Was that necessary? Absolutely not. I try not to “write” write on this here blog. I have IRL family and friends that read from time to time. They don’t need to know the minutae of my thoughts, but sometimes I do long to bare my soul. Just a little bit.
Lately my blog has needed a little R&R. Or maybe that’s me? I know it doesn’t go unnoticed when I have lots of giveaways and sponsored posts. (While I’m on the topic, don’t forget to enter to win a handsome dog collar for your pooch, or an adult sippy cup for your adult beverages.) Comments and page views go down. And I don’t blame people. I really don’t. I’d gloss over my own blog these days, too.
However, lately my heart hasn’t been into blogging. My emotions have run the gamut as have my moods. Am I depressed? Maybe. Bored is more like it. I miss singing. A lot. There have been many days where all I want to do is take out my keyboard, open up my box of opera scores and sing Puccini until the cows come home. And I have, once or twice. Truth be told, I feel like I’ve let myself down. I never followed through with auditioning for the Savannah Philharmonic and I’m now kicking myself for it. What’s worse? I was actually e-mailing with them about setting a date for the audition. Yeah. I’m bad. No, I don’t think I’ll be the next Angela Gheorghiu (look her up…I love her!). I most definitely won’t be the next Taylor Swift. Lady Gaga, maybe? I digress. I love singing, even if it is just for funerals and Sunday church services. (I like singing at funerals. Call me weird.)
I feel like I took to blogging to kill time, put my thoughts on paper, and document life. So far I’ve only really done the first of the three. Being a SAHW has its benefits but I’m feeling more and more bored by it. I feel guilty even admitting that as I know many women would love not to have to work. Thing is, I need to be busy. If I’m not busy, I become lazy. Also, I can’t help the nagging feeling that if I continue being a SAHW I will one day feel like I’m taken for granted. If you’ve ever been a stay-at-home-anything you’ll understand what I’m referring to.
I’m not really sure where I’m going with this, as it seems like I’m just typing whatever pops in my head. All I know is that I’m “down.” I’ve thought of discontinuing accepting sponsors and returning to the time where I blogged for me as opposed to trying to come up with some kickass post to deliver to sponsors. I’ve even thought of taking a break from blogging all together. Even if just for a week.
Anyhoo, I’ll get out of this funk. I hope.
Thanks for sticking with me.