Dear Awkard-Stage Lisette,
When you were a little girl, you thought your Prince Charming would come in shining armor riding a white horse, ready to sweep you away. You thought a relationship would be much like a little tea party with pink frilly dresses and teddy bear guests…Then you got to pre-kindergarten and had your first crush. Don’t think your mom didn’t know, she did, because you’ll always wear your heart on your sleeve. Even if it’s on your boy-repellant school uniform’s sleeve that was optional, but your mother insisted you wear. Every single day. I know. I hated it, too.
Now, in middle school, you think having a boyfriend will make you attractive. (You are a CHILD, don’t forget!) Like, if all of a sudden you were holding a boy’s grubby hands you’ll be instantly popular. Your need for acceptance and love will lead you to looking for friends in all the wrong places. You don’t know that the duds will later turn into hotties…and that the “hotties” (or, at least the ones that those mean girls think are hotties) will later drive around picking up the garbage of New York City. (True story).
You need to learn to love yourself. You’re going through growing pains. You won’t look like this forever, I promise! Trust me when I say that you’re not the ugly girl that you think you are. You WILL have boys treat you badly because of your weight; this too shall pass. But I hate to break it to you, girl. You won’t be one of those lucky ones who can eat junk food everyday and have nothing to show for it. I’m glad you switched to skim milk, as this opens the door for you to eat healthier in the future.
Enjoy your little secret crush through middle school. Enjoy the “code names” and notes you’ll exchange with your BFF all through English class. And when he comes up to you and gives you that annoying yet you-can-call-me-that-anytime-pet-name, you’ll swoon like a starstuck Bieber fan. This, too, shall pass. You’ll always love blue eyes, but your husband (more on him later) won’t have ’em, and neither will your kids. Tough, I know. Brown eyes aren’t so bad.
Know that you will actually have a better time in high school, and through the youth group at church, you’ll meet your first little boyfriend. Have fun with him. He’s a trip! Don’t worry. You will be heartbroken, but the first cut is the deepest.
Know that the experiences that you are having now will shape the woman you’ll become. I know, because I’ve been through it. Every rejection you’ll experience will teach you exactly what to look for (and steer clear of) in your search for “The One.”
Know that those rejections will hurt (some more than others), but in the end, you were better off. Just because you thought he was all you ever wanted, you’ll learn that “all you ever wanted” is very different than what “all you ever wanted” means as an adult.
Know that the relationship you really want is one where you can be yourself. You’ll be in a safe place, where you can reveal your thoughts and feelings and your partner will not ridicule you or belittle you.
Know that the relationship you really want will resemble one of that with a best friend. Don’t lay a framework for what you think relationships should be like by the unhealthy relationships you see on T.V, movies, or in the real world around you.
Know that having disagreements with your spouse isn’t necessarily a bad thing. Most importantly, know that airing out your grievances and disappointments is actually a healthy component to a relationship, for your bond cannot grow if you keep everything bottled up inside.
Know that you are a great catch. And when you finally meet “The One,” your heart will go ‘pitter-patter’ like the steps of the horse he’ll ride with you into the sunset.
Your Future Self