1) Waking up late on exam day
Nope. No waking up naked in a lecture hall for me. I think this is because I don’t have a fear of being in front of people from many years of performing. However, showing up comically late to important events is a recurring fear of mine.
I mainly fear this because I’ve actually done this on a final exam day during one of my summer courses in college. An exam day I almost did not show up for, because…well, it was the summer.
If you’re wondering what happened, I went from a shiny A in mythology, to scoring a D on that final and brought my overall grade down to a C. Yay me.
2) Falling down stairs and breaking teeth
Hey, look. This post is all about irrational fears. Don’t judge, okay?
I’ve lost track of how many nightmares I have of this scenario. But it always happens like this: I’m walking down a set of narrow stairs, in the dark, and I miss a step. I fall forward, and my teeth land precisely on the edge of a step and I break my eye teeth.
I think this is out of fear that all of my dental surgeries, braces and retainer use will go to waste. Don’t we all end up with fake teeth in the end anyway?
3) Missing the stop
Ok, raise your hands if you’re from New York City and had childhood fears of being stranded on a crowded subway car. If you have never been on a train that empties at the Times Square or Columbus Circle stations, you won’t understand this fear.
Growing up, we constantly had different doctor appointments throughout the city. The subway was the way to go. My mother usually walked at 103mph and it was either keep up or get left behind. In hindsight, I’m sure it had more to do with her always running 30 minutes late, but I digress.
Imagine being only 3.5 feet tall in some of the busiest subway stations in NYC. The trains are packed like sardines (it’s a miracle that there aren’t millions of amputees in the city due to doors chopping off appendages). My
mother group manages to escape the packed subway car, and the more I try to “swim” against the current of loading passengers, the deeper I’m carried into the heart of the subway car.
And then, cruelly, the train leaves on an ‘express’ route to Timbuktu.
Gives a literal meaning to “the train left the station.”
4) Lane dividers on highways
This is not limited to highways but it mostly entails high speeds and curves. I-83 through Baltimore and I-95 through Jacksonville, I’m looking at you! Also included: the railings on the Chesapeake Bay Bridge.
Maybe it’s because I used to drive a small SUV (whose center of gravity provided
anxiety cheap thrills and I never knew when I’d finally tip the car over going around curves at high speeds) but ever since that Suzuki Vitara, lane dividers have never looked the same.
I suddenly understand my mother’s fear of driving.
5) The Dark
Yep. I’m a 5 year old inside. I swear, if I look closely…like verrrrrry closely, I can see shapes shifting in the dark. One moment it will be something small and round. The next, something feline and sneaky.
There was a whole episode dedicated to The Dark on Dr. Who (my new favorite TV show!). In it, the Doctor claims that all living creatures have a fear of the dark…and then we find out why. Thanks to Dr. Who, now I’ll never get over my fear of the dark!